Mountebank History of Scotland

#9 - William Wallace (Guardian of Scotland)

The most instantly recognisable and most revered Scottish patriot of all time takes some time to talk to you about William Wallace..!! Part One 'Guardian of Scotland' tells Wallace's story from when he 'raised his head' in 1297 through his victory at Stirling Bridge and defeat at the Battle of Falkirk just a year later

#8 - Toom Tabard

John Balliol or 'Toom Tabbard' which means 'empty tunic' a nickname attributed to Balliol on account of the fact he was a king who was easily manipulated, had no real control over his kingdom, and was in power in name only - he didn't hide in fridges though

#7 - The Alexanders

The 13th century and the rule of 'The Alexanders' was Scotland's golden age - only because no one realised how bad things were going to get in the 14th century, it's a bit like the Scottish football team in the 90's we didn't realise they were actually a pretty good team until Bertie Vogts came along and then we started to get pumped off of Kazakhstan and Georgia

#6 - William The Lion

Scotland's longest reigning medieval monarch 'William the Lion' was enthusiastic and not without his charms, but he was much louder, more aggressive, stubborn and lacked the subtlety and talents of his older brother - he is basically Scottish medieval history's version of Liam Gallacher.

#5 - King David

King David is arguably Scotland's greatest ever king, he was so good in fact he could win battles by losing them - winning at losing makes you a hero in this country!  

#4 - Malcolm and Margaret Canmore

Malcolm and Margaret Canmore were Scotland's original power couple, the late 11th century's equivalent of Beyoncé and Jay-Z - well if Beyoné became 'Saint Beyoncé' and Jay Z was middle-aged, illiterate, violent, vengeful, obsessed with conquering Northumbria and had a huge head

#3 - Macbeth

Macbeth wasn't just the main character in that play you hated, and he wasn't a detective solving crimes with his adorable wee West Highland terrier in the Scottish equivalent of Midsummer either. The real life Macbeth was an 11th century king of Scotland. The last truly Celtic king of Scotland he suffered a bad press thanks to that pesky William Shakespeare thankfully Mountebank is here to restore the good name of Macbeth!

#2 - The First King of Scotland

In this episode I compare a great Pictish king to a pastry, the vikings try to introduce £9 pints to Scotland, Edinburgh falls out of English and back into Scottish hands but they decide to keep cricket all this plus I shout at Stuart Armstrong for not booting the ball out of the park in 2017.

#1 - Romans, Picts and Scots

The Mountebank History of Scotland is a series of comical history podcasts charting the history of Scotland from the 1st century to the present day.

In episode #1

The Romans were scared of midgies, the 'Scots' are actually Irish and the indigenous people of Scotland would ride into battle bollock naked and covered in tattoos (1500 years before the invention of instagram). All this plus a year long piss up in Edinburgh Castle

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